Every time I’ve looked at this writing prompt the ONLY thing that pops into my head is the chorus from The Bonnie Banks o’ Loch Lomond as sung by Harry Secombe playing Neddie Seagoon in The Goons episode “The Treasure in the Lake” (aka “The Treasure of Loch Lomond”).

O ye’ll tak’ the high road, and Ah’ll tak’ the low road
And Ah’ll be in Scotlan’ afore ye
Fir me an’ my true love will ne’er meet again
On the bonnie, bonnie banks o’ Loch Lomon’.

I sincerely hope that at least one person reading this is now blessed with the same earworm.

My earliest memories of The Goon Show are of being in the car listening to the show as we drove to visit, I think, my Nana, or possibly other family, for lunch. I’m having a bit of a crisis of confidence in my memory here because The Goon Show aired at midday and the trips I’m thinking of weren’t particularly short and it came on right at the beginning of the trip so we must have been having late lunches. Will have to ask Mum and Dad.

It was Dad who was into The Goons. Quotes were regularly deployed in normal conversation and in turn I’ve inflicted the same on my kids. They’re not quite as well versed in the shows as I’d like because I’ve had rather less success in getting them to listen to them than we’ve had with more visual classics such as Monty Python. But they know the basics.

My favourite memories of The Goon Show are from when I was in year 5 at school. I have no idea why we were allowed to do this, but I and several friends, one of whom owned a book of Goon Show scripts, were allowed to nick off from class for multiple quite long recording sessions to produce our own version of The Dreaded Batter Pudding Hurler (Of Bexhill-On-Sea). We then played the recording to the rest of the class and a copy of it was placed in a time capsule that was buried on the edge of the school oval. There was an agreement that we’d meet up on Jan 1, 2000 to dig it up, but when the day arrived I had small children and a hang-over and hadn’t been in touch with anyone from my class, or the school, for many years. So I didn’t go. I wonder if anyone did dig it up, and whether the recording survived.

We are, by the way, currently heading into prime Goon Show quoting season. Because every time someone mentions Christmas pudding and custard I am contractually obliged to respond with “and line the sides with custard, so it can’t climb out.” And once one has started quoting The Goons it’s remarkably hard to stop.

*sings*

I’m walking backwards for Christmas,
Across the Irish Sea,
I’m walking backwards for Christmas,
It’s the only thing for me.

I’ve tried walking sideways,
And walking to the front,
But people just look at me,
And say it’s a publicity stunt.

I’m walking backwards for Christmas,
To prove that I love you.