My mind is not always kind to me
And sometimes
When it has been particularly unruly
I take it to see someone who
Is qualified to help with unruly minds

And I tell this person stories
Of what is going on in my life
And how I feel about those things
And how that makes me feel about myself

Be kinder to yourself, they’ll say
You’re doing incredibly well considering
You’re carrying a lot
Most people wouldn’t cope

Have you thought about “this”?
Yes, just last week, in fact
Good to know I’m on the right track

Have you tried meditation?
Focus on the here and now
Don’t dwell on past pain
Notice what is good in your life
Have good boundaries
Take care of yourself first

None of that changes how much I must carry
And, quite frankly, the here and now
Is frequently not all that great

I ask to adjust my medication
I joke about running away from home
I fantasise about really putting myself first
But if I did that my responsibilities
Would fall on people who can’t or won’t
Or shouldn’t have to shoulder them

And anyway, the truth is I am ok
There is an end in sight
Things will be better
There’ll be plenty of time for me
Once we get though this

It’s just hard
And I’ll be damned if I’ll pretend it’s not


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