Hello. Hello? Is this thing on? I’m not managing much by way of bloggy goodness lately, either of the posting or commenting kind. You might spot the occasional Tweet though, 140 characters seems to be something I can manage.
Things are still not quite right in my head (though I’m reading more which is a good thing) I’ve been struggling with feeling overwhelmed and unaccountably sad for weeks now. It’s kind of pissing me off. I was talking to Adam about it and saying how my life, by any objective measure, is pretty fucking awesome and to be feeling on the verge of tears rather more often than is reasonable and not being able to muster up any motivation to do things I actually really want to do sort of sucks. I’m tired because I keep staying up intending to do the things on my to do list but procrastinating until it’s too late and I’m falling asleep on the lounge. So I go to bed, don’t get enough sleep and do the same thing the next night.
I haven’t cooked anything interesting for ages. I’ve made no jewellery since before Christmas. I need to make a whole bunch of dark ages clothes for us before we go camping at Easter and I’ve done nothing about that. I haven’t done any glass bead making since mid-way through last year.
I’m working 4 days a week and still trying to do most of the volunteer stuff I took on when I was not doing any paid work. I’m not getting my alone time of being in the empty house during the day in silence and I’m missing that desperately.
I’m short on patience with the kids. I’m worried about David and how much work we have to do with his anxieties to get him up to speed for the transition to high school. I hate homework with a fiery passion because it means that for a large part of the week my interactions with the kids are in the form of nagging and arguing and because David in particular can take up to 2 hours to do work that ought to take about 20 minutes.
I need a holiday. But not the sort where you run away for a while but it’s all still there waiting for you when you come back. Has anyone got a magic wand I can borrow?