Dried leaves in boiling water…

…an exercise in associative blogging. Tea. My Nanna (Dad’s mum), who I remember as teaching me to drink tea – no sugar, a bit of milk, strong and hot. Breathing in the steam from the mug, cupped in cold hands, sitting around a campfire at night. So many glorious camping holidays with my family and my mum’s twin sister’s family when I was a kid. Yum cha, the brew getting stronger as the meal progresses until the pot is refilled and it goes back to hot water lightly tinged with colour and flavour. The ritual of Grandma’s teapot, readied before … Continue reading Dried leaves in boiling water…

Food and love (Part 1)

Some time ago Liz posted a piece titled Love You With Food, it ends with these lines: There is a legacy of love and food and cooking in my family. I’m so glad to be part of it and so glad it doesn’t end with me. I wish I could say the same thing about my family. It’s not that there was any lack of love, or indeed of good food, in my childhood – far from it! But somewhere along the way food became a problem instead of an uncomplicated celebration and the legacy I inherited could be better … Continue reading Food and love (Part 1)

I do not like public speaking

It’s not that I’m particularly bad at it, in fact people have been known to tell me I’m quite good at it. Unfortunately my body doesn’t seem to know that. I get incredibly tense, heart racing, can’t focus on things properly, really stressed and all the time I know I’m going to be perfectly fine but I feel like I’m about to do something hugely dangerous. It really sucks. (It’s also why I understand David’s anxiety issues, I don’t have the same degree of anxiety as him but I sure as hell know what it feels like.) So, of course, … Continue reading I do not like public speaking

Being everything I can be

I read a post on Nat’s blog this morning that got me thinking. Here’s the bit that gave the old brain cells a prod: …even now, ‘just’ 52 kilos lighter I am much more of a person than I ever was before. This seems so shallow but it reinforces my belief that we categorise ourselves and filter our world through our obesity…just like someone who is depressed. And this stops us from sharing so many of our good qualities with others. We allow ourselves to become less of a human being. We allow ourselves to watch the rest of the … Continue reading Being everything I can be

Still doing the Weight Watchers thing

It just went a little haywire there for a while. For most of February I’d been feeling really down, overwhelmed by the smallest things, unable to get going on anything much, grouchy, stressed, wanting to spend my days curled up in a corner in denial of reality and generally pretty unpleasant to be with. Then suddenly, for no apparent reason, in the last few days the grey clouds have lifted and life is good again. It’s weird but it’s good, I wish I knew why ’cause then I might be able to do something if things go bad again. I … Continue reading Still doing the Weight Watchers thing

Thinking differently & Weigh-in week 12

There’s this thing that happens when every thought you have about food is about restrictions, when there’s a moral overtone to decision making, when all the time the idea of failure is lurking in the back of your mind. It drives you slightly nuts. I was starting to feel like I was fighting with myself all the time, it was all about what I shouldn’t do, what I couldn’t have, what I ought to avoid. Switching to Core has helped a little, much less of the counting and calculating and having to assess whether I could “afford” to eat even … Continue reading Thinking differently & Weigh-in week 12

Confession is good for the soul

Last night at about 1:00am I ate: 1 piece of vegemite toast, 1 piece of peanut butter and honey toast, 2 slices of grilled Bega Vintage cheese on toast, some dried cranberries and 1 square of Lindt chocolate. After which I felt somewhat ill. Hmmm…ponders…why did I do this? Let’s see, no complex carbs for dinner, stayed up way too late, getting cold, pissed off with myself over wasting so much of the day yesterday, feeling guilty about all the housework that is un-done. Of course! The obvious answer was to comfort/punish myself in a way guaranteed to make me … Continue reading Confession is good for the soul