You know how I said I might try ice-skating today? Well, I did.
I was really apprehensive because I had memories from the last time I tried, years ago, of being so distressed that all I wanted to do was hide somewhere and cry. I remembered that my feet had been in agony but I couldn’t remember what it had been like on the ice. Was I still able to skate (I used to go regularly for sport in high-school and had taken lessons when I lived in the US) or was it just an exercise in frustration and humiliation?
Turns out I can still skate. Sort of. But the feet? OMG OW! No doubt it was partly down to the crappy hire skates but I’m quite sure it wouldn’t be nearly so bad if I was lighter. All the pressure of my 130kg resting on thin metal blades instead of spread across the soles of nice comfortable shoes had me in some serious pain after only 2 circuits of the rink. Damn. I wonder if it’d be bearable if I had my own skates? I’ve coveted my own pair for many, many years and at least now I wouldn’t grow out of them. Anyway, I made Caitlin happy by giving it a go (we arrived a short time before Caitlin’s friend and her mum) and I was able to help her friend get started by doing another 2 circuits (whimper!) the first time holding her hand the whole way and the second time just being encouraging as she tottered around on her own. After that Caitlin took over the hand-holding and coaching duties and I got to sit and chat and let my feet recover.
I think the reason I couldn’t remember being still able to skate from last time was because I’d been so overwhelmed by the pain and humiliation of my fat getting in the way of being on the ice, this time the pain was still there but the humiliation is gone, so no wanting to cry.
My very wonderful mum had the boys this morning, I also dumped the dog on her with the suggestion that she and the boys could fill in the time by going for a walk – this is less cheeky than it sounds because my mum is a going for walks fanatic. She volunteered to look after them so that I’d be able to give Caitlin some one-on-one time, which was great, but it did mean that although I was already half-way to the city I had to go back home and retrieve the other 2 offspring before heading back into the city to meet up with people for Nixy’s birthday party at Lowenbrau.
I decided to relax my no toys at the table rule and let them bring something to keep them occupied in the hope of having a relaxing lunch. HA! It kinda sorta worked…for a while. I still spent a significant portion of my lunch time trying to quash squabbles, begging not to be whinged at and threatening to cancel the planned trip to the movies to see Clone Wars tomorrow.
The afternoon culminated in a fairly impressive melt-down from Tom complete with tears and screams of “I hate you” directed at his brother. Note to self: the times when you really hope they’ll be on their best behaviour, expect the worst, when it doesn’t matter, they’ll be angelic, that’s just the way these things work.
We got back to the car and they asked to listen to Abba on the way home. They all sang along for the entire trip. We got home and they’d transformed back into reasonable human beings and have played happily together for the rest of the day. And now they’re asking for food.
How can they possibly be hungry? There was all that MEEEEEAT!
*goes to conjure dinner*
PS. I need a foot massage.